Row Z: Ronaldo’s outlook on MLS’ quality, Chelsea defender shines (but not for them), and Charlton’s World Cup heroics

Welcome to Row Z, The Athletic’s weekly column that shines a light on the bonkers side of the game.

From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every Friday we’ll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the game we all love… 

Cristiano Ronaldo’s hard-hitting interview

Honestly, Row Z tries really, really hard not to pick on Cristiano Ronaldo every week, but when the great (sorry, greatest) man himself posts an interview that is SEVENTY minutes long on his YouTube channel, it is the duty of this column to watch it in full and bring you the highlights.

Where on earth to start? Well, as you can imagine, it’s a tough interview. Almost an interrogation.

Sample question from interviewer Edu Aguirre: “The Saudi Arabian league is growing. You’re the pioneer, you’re the one who arrived and broke the market.

“You don’t have to say it, I’ll say it, everyone wants to follow you. The best players want to follow you — and they have — some of the best players in the world.”

That’s it. That’s literally the question. Ronaldo nods along approvingly and then just talks about how wonderful it is, without mentioning that players only go there because they’re being paid a million pounds a minute, not because they want to ‘follow Cristiano Ronaldo’ like he’s the second coming.

Aguirre, you won’t be surprised to hear, is Ronaldo’s mate (the opening minute is them talking about their friendship) and has apparently stated this was Ronaldo’s longest-ever interview. Except that he did 90 minutes with Piers Morgan a couple of years ago.

To be fair, in terms of misinformation, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Here’s Ronaldo talking about the quality of the Saudi league: “People don’t know. When people don’t know, they form opinions and talk too much.

“Sometimes it makes me a bit sad. It’s a completely different reality.

“When people talk about Saudi Arabia, when people talk about, for example, the U.S., for example, I’m just giving you an example…”

He’s just giving us an example, guys. He’s picked a league completely at random that may or may not contain his arch-nemesis, Lionel Messi.

Aguirre sets up the tap-in: “The U.S. league is worse than the Saudi league?”

Ronaldo: “Obviously, obviously, obviously.”

Just to confirm, that’s three obviouslys.

“But since it is Saudi Arabia, I feel like it is underestimated a bit more. I also know the people who talk don’t really know what they are saying, so I simply let it go.”

He’s let it go! He didn’t want to bring it up in the slightest, but relentless inquisitor Aguirre wheedled it out of him and he reluctantly told the 74million subscribers to his channel.

So yeah, MLS is obviously, obviously, obviously worse than the Saudi Pro League (SPL) and anyone who says differently is talking utter b******s.

On a completely different note, Opta’s latest world league power rankings place MLS as the ninth-strongest league in the world. The SPL? Below the Colombian top flight in 33rd. Opta, up your game, you just don’t know what you’re talking about. Obviously.

You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone (on loan)

Chelsea: three wins in 11 matches in all competitions and only two clean sheets in their last 16 matches (against Morecambe and Sean Dyche-era Everton).

If only they had a top-class centre-back in their squad who could help firm up their porous defence, which looked shaky and vulnerable during consecutive away defeats at Brighton in the FA Cup and the Premier League.

Also Chelsea: delighted to loan 21-year-old summer signing Renato Veiga (who played 18 times in all competitions across a variety of positions in the first half of the season) to Juventus.

How has he been getting on in Italy?

Fan reaction on social media includes: “What. A. Performance. What. A. Player. Renato Veiga, remember the name.” Also: “Veiga really gets it. This is what we need at the back.”

Newspaper Tuttosport labelled Veiga as Juventus’ “new wall”.

And head coach Thiago Motta suggested Veiga has revolutionised how Juventus play because the defender “has the quality to start the play without (us) having to drop a midfielder back”.

Chelsea gonna Chelsea.

Veiga playing for Juventus (Isabella Bonotto/AFP via Getty Images)

World Cup heroes Charlton (No, not Bobby… or Jack)

BBC gameshows now and we head to a recent episode of Pointless, where contestants were asked to name a national team that had appeared at multiple FIFA men’s World Cups.

Remember, the aim of Pointless is to name as obscure a correct answer as possible. Brazil would be a bad answer, albeit correct, while, say, North Korea, who have appeared twice, would be a fantastic obscure answer.

Lyn is the first of the eight contestants to have a go. He’s got most of the world to pick from — there are 60 nations who have appeared at two World Cups or more.

Who does he plump for? Argentina? Germany? Wales?

Socials corner

The social media reply of the week comes from “Ste”.

Shutts is in with the post of the week (if you’re of a certain age).

And finally, our moment of the week comes from the League of Ireland.

Bohemians striker Colm Whelan was so proud about coming on as a substitute that he gladly accepted what he thought was an affirmation of good luck from the fourth official.

Lovely stuff.

(Top photo: Getty Images)