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Hello! Manchester United’s head coach is being driven to distraction. And one of his predecessors is falling asleep.
On the way:
😬 Amorim’s United ordeal
📆 Why Fonseca got a huge ban
🎤 The perfect half-time show
🤵🏾 Tuxedo on the touchline
Managing chaos: Season can’t be saved, says Man Utd coach, but tactics show sign of life
(Photo: Carl Recine/Getty Images)
One of my favourite Terry Pratchett novels, Interesting Times, contains the following philosophical truth: “Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It defeats order, because it’s better organised.”
He had a way with words did Terry, and that there is Manchester United. It’s INEOS trying to make United glorious again but, to date, merely slashing costs and dispensing with staff (with more senior exits afoot). It’s Ruben Amorim bringing his potential to town but, four months on, sounding like a man with chronic buyer’s remorse. It’s his team, expensively built, churning in no discernible direction.
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There was a moment in last night’s Europa League tie at Real Sociedad — a 1-1 draw on another evening where it didn’t all click — when Diego Dalot went down the right, bombing on as a wing-back should, but ignored an easy inside pass to a well-placed Rasmus Hojlund (below). Hojlund threw his arms in the air. Amorim muttered away, presumably cursing a squad as joined-up as an Eric Cantona stream of consciousness.
In that attack, it was plain to see what Amorim was trying to do with his fluid 3-4-3. It was possible to see how it could work. But it isn’t working with these players, or not to a degree which is bringing him comfort, and his own mood is suffering because of it. His quote before kick-off yesterday — that “nothing can save our season”, not even the Europa League — was both fair and symptomatic of the strain of his job.
It didn’t help that Amorim experienced no new head-coach bounce after arriving in November. There have been little highlights for him, but not enough. He’s won 10 games in 25 and some of his chat goes a little close to implying that turning it all around is beyond him. Can he go the whole nine yards at Old Trafford? Or is the gig beating him?
Is honesty best policy?
Tactically, Amorim carries the can for certain results, like asking Casemiro and Christian Eriksen to go stride-for-stride with Newcastle United’s powerful midfield in December. But broadly, United are a product of their player recruitment — and if Amorim doesn’t actually hate the make-up of his dressing room, it isn’t working for him or his preferred formation either.
He’s also shown a tendency to be brutally (some might say recklessly) honest. Even forgetting his comment about this being the worst United team in history, this week alone he’s had words with Wayne Rooney and the agent of Antony and almost implied the season can get in the bin. He’s not even speaking with total conviction about his own future.
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It might be a ploy; to remind people on the inside and the outside of Old Trafford that picking up what Erik ten Hag left him was a hospital pass. It’s one way of buying time and sympathy. But the degree of separation between a coach and what’s happening on the pitch can only be so wide — and if Amorim isn’t trying to talk himself out of the building, his pessimism will only wash for so long. A coach has to sound like he has solutions, or faith around him ebbs away.
Watching United yesterday, the paradox of managing them dawned again: their squad needs gutting, but it can’t be gutted overnight. United are short in so many areas but they’re living with major profit and sustainability pressures — with their debt at £731million ($945m) — limiting their reach in the transfer market. Even if they wanted money to be no object, it can’t be. So on the question of where they and Amorim are headed, your guess is as good as mine.
News round-up
Around the grounds: Mourinho sleepy after Rangers win, Bergvall’s costly own goal
I can’t work our old friend Cyriel Dessers out. Some of his finishing, as long-time readers will know, makes him look like a £100 striker. Yet his performance in Rangers’ 3-1 win at Fenerbahce made him look more like a £100m asset.
Jose Mourinho, on the other hand? No mystique there. His reply to what went wrong for Fenerbahce in the first leg of their Europa League last-16 clash was “everything”. Then he pretended to fall asleep as a journalist bored him with a rambling question. He really is football’s greatest showman.
Tottenham Hotspur’s evening wasn’t a whole lot better. They lost 1-0 at AZ, to a sublime own goal from Lucas Bergvall (below). The only consolation for Ange Postecoglou? Now Bergvall’s got that out of his system, he surely won’t gift another one like it.
TNT Sports
Ban barometer: Why was Fonseca’s nine-month suspension so extreme?
Yesterday’s TAFC led with the nine-month domestic ban incurred by Lyon head Paulo Fonseca for his wild confrontation with a referee. It didn’t stop him occupying the touchline in the Europa League, and he was in tears after Lyon’s first goal against Romanian side FCSB.
After reading our piece, one of my colleagues wanted something clarified: why such an extreme suspension? After all, bans of nine months are incredibly rare.
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Tom Williams, whose excellent article gets into the weeds of this saga, pointed me to article eight of the French Football Federation’s disciplinary code. The guidelines stipulate that cases of “intimidating menacing behaviour” which fall short of physical attacks should be subject to seven-month bans.
Fonseca’s offence, however, was classed as aggravated — in Tom’s view, because the 15-game suspension imposed on Marseille sporting director Pablo Longoria very recently should have acted as a warning. The extra two months will cover France’s off-season too. We’re waiting to see if Fonseca appeals.
Show Time: How to plan World Cup final entertainment
On the back of the news that FIFA will stage a half-time show during the 2026 World Cup final — and have asked Coldplay to create the line-up for it — I decided to investigate the best way of avoiding it being entirely naff.
Who better to ask than Jacob Robinson, the writer of our Scoop City newsletter? He’s seen more NFL half-time shows than any single human deserves to be subject to. Here are his words of advice for Chris Martin and Gianni Infantino:
“There’s a three-step process to hosting a Super Bowl-like half-time show: 1) Head to the local grocery store; 2) There, listen to the music until you hear somebody past their prime, ideally five-to-10 years; 3) Hire that artist, as they’ll resonate with the older demographic.
“If FIFA avoids that approach, like the NFL did by bringing on The Weeknd in 2021, we should see a winning show.”
Simple.
Around TAFC
- You’ll find intriguing info in Mario Cortegana’s dig into Carlo Ancelotti’s future at Real Madrid: namely, that Madrid have spoken to Xabi Alonso’s camp this season, and Ancelotti knows they have.
- Robert Pires, once of Arsenal’s parish, picked his five favourites wingers for us. I’m delighted he went for Barcelona’s Raphinha. “His touch is superior to other players.”
- Our annual survey of Major League Soccer’s general managers is always worth the wait. We said that a lot of people are impressed by FC Cincinnati’s moves. The GM pack agrees.
- Quiz question: Mikel Arteta boasts 118 victories from 199 games as a Premier League boss. Can you name the other 10 Premier League managers who have won 100 or more of their first 200 matches? Answers here later, and in Monday’s TAFC.
- Most clicked in yesterday’s TAFC: Fonseca’s huge ban.
Catch a match
(Selected games, times ET/UK)
Saturday: Premier League: Nottingham Forest vs Manchester City, 7.30am/12.30pm — USA Network, Fubo/TNT Sports; Brentford vs Aston Villa, 12.30pm/5.30pm — NBC, Peacock Premium, Fubo/Sky Sports; Wolverhampton Wanderers vs Everton, 3pm/8pm — Peacock Premium/TNT Sports; La Liga: Barcelona vs Osasuna, 3pm/8pm — ESPN+, Fubo/Premier Sports; Serie A: Inter vs Monza, 2.45pm/7.45pm — CBS, Paramount+, Amazon Prime/OneFootball; MLS: Seattle Sounders vs LAFC, 4.45pm/9.45pm — MLS Season Pass, Fox, Fubo/Apple TV.
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Sunday: Premier League: Tottenham Hotspur vs Bournemouth, 9am/2pm — Peacock Premium/Sky Sports; Manchester United vs Arsenal, 11.30am/4.30pm — NBC, Peacock Premium, Fubo/Sky Sports; Serie A: Napoli vs Fiorentina, 9am/2pm — CBS, Paramount+, Fubo/OneFootball; Juventus vs Atalanta, 3pm/8pm — CBS, Paramount+, Amazon Prime/TNT Sports, OneFootball; MLS (both MLS Season Pass/Apple TV): Inter Miami vs Charlotte, 3pm/8pm.
And finally…
Franklin Jacome/Getty Images
One last observation about Mourinho’s showmanship: he needs to up his clothing game. He’s no Segundo Castillo, who on Wednesday coached Ecuador’s Barcelona SC through a Copa Libertadores play-off against Brazil’s Corinthians, wearing a blinding white-black tuxedo. Hot damn.
(Top photo: Cesar Ortiz/Soccrates/Getty Images)
