A Premier League side in freefall, De Bruyne could join Messi in Miami

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Hello! Kevin De Bruyne to Inter Miami is bubbling. Even he couldn’t save Leicester City.

Van Nistelrooy’s team going out with a whimper

As the dust settled on Leicester City’s 3-0 defeat to Newcastle United last night, I spent time thinking about which particular moment was the height of Leicester’s humiliation.

(Sky Sports Premier League)

Was it them shipping the first goal before their fans sat down? Or some of those supporters leaving before half-time, wishing they hadn’t bothered? Was it manager Ruud van Nistelrooy mouthing obscenities at his players (and apologies to the lipreaders among you for the gif at the top of today’s TAFC)?

Was it Jacob Murphy turning in the rebound from a long-range Fabian Schar lob against the crossbar, above, as Leicester’s defence ambled back aimlessly? Or was it them launching on 15-year-old Jeremy Monga for his Premier League debut — a winger so raw he had to wear a blank shirt because, under UK gambling law, he was too young to carry the logo of Leicester’s betting sponsor?

We’ve seen far heavier hammerings than 3-0 over the years, but make no mistake: in parts of the first half, we were looking at an all-time Premier League shambles. The result lumbered Leicester with a new English record of losing eight consecutive home league games without scoring once. It really is that bad.

City ploughed their faith into Van Nistelrooy in November on the back of his stint as Manchester United’s caretaker boss. It’s been a wild stab in the dark and his win percentage stands at 15. Fresh from Southampton dismissing Ivan Juric yesterday, we’re waiting to see if another team on the road to relegation are about to make their second sacking of the season.

Is promotion too hot to handle?

Monga, above, made a late substitute appearance and that was the only thing for Leicester to cling to. He’s the second-youngest Premier League debutant ever, behind Arsenal’s Ethan Nwaneri, but if I was him, I’d be looking at Leicester’s chaotic state and keeping my future options open.

(Alex Pantling/Getty Images)

For promoted clubs, England’s top division gets increasingly unforgiving. Southampton are down in record time. Leicester will follow. For a coach, trying to keep a team up after promotion is a nightmare. Juric and Van Nistelrooy are proving that attempting to bring one to heel mid-season is even worse. George Caulkin took a trip around the Premier League’s bottom three sides to assess the scale of the damage inflicted.

Van Nistelrooy dodged questions about his future last night, but it’s a matter of days since he was talking about him and Leicester needing to be “aligned” if they had any chance of moving forward from here. I’m not sure the team from Apollo 13 could fit his square box into their round hole.

Inter Miami hold De Bruyne’s discovery rights

The news that Kevin De Bruyne is leaving Manchester City made football pause for reflection. But once we’d digested it, all we wanted to know was who would sign him next. And like that, we’ve got an answer of sorts: Lionel Messi’s Inter Miami.

(Michael Regan/Getty Images)

The news that Kevin De Bruyne is leaving Manchester City made football pause for reflection. But once we’d digested it, all we wanted to know was who would sign him next. And like that, we’ve got an answer of sorts: Lionel Messi’s Inter Miami.

This is no fait accompli because a lot needs to happen yet, but you’re waking up to a hefty exclusive from Paul Tenorio, revealing that Miami hold De Bruyne’s MLS ‘discovery rights’. With KDB poised to become a free agent, it puts the club in pole position to add him to a squad that already oozes the talent of Messi et al.

Discovery rights might not be familiar to you. They’re a mechanism by which an MLS franchise such as Miami secures the first right to negotiate with a player. Paul told me the rule exists to “prevent MLS teams bidding against each other on potential signings”, something the league prefers to avoid.

You’ll find a longer explanation from him here, plus thoughts on how on earth De Bruyne could fit within Miami’s salary cap, an issue that is going to be at the centre of negotiations. But expect the club to try hard because the thought of blending De Bruyne with Messi must be all of David Beckham’s Christmases at once, competitively and commercially. The rest of MLS has our sympathy.

• The Athletic FC podcast has been looking back at De Bruyne’s City career and analysing his exit. Let’s be honest, the timing of it makes sense. You’ll find it on Apple and Spotify.

News round-up

Champions League focus: Arsenal favoured ahead of Real Madrid

Here’s a quirk of the European game: Arsenal versus Real Madrid has almost no history behind it. They’ve met once in a tie that mattered, during the Champions League’s last 16 in 2006. You might remember it as the clash in which Thierry Henry took the proverbial at the Bernabeu.

They’re headlining this season’s quarter-finals, however, with the first leg between them slated for the Emirates tonight. What surprised me most in our raft of previews was Opta Stats ranking Arsenal as second favourites for the trophy behind Barcelona, which, by extension, means they’re fancied to get beyond Madrid. I wasn’t expecting that, especially with leg two at the Bernabeu.

Also interesting was the revelation that Bayern Munich, who host Inter later, possess the best defence in Europe. They give away a very low expected goals (xG) figure and they excel at keeping opposition teams out of the final third (see graphic, below).

The stats would tempt you to think of them as a firm outside chance…until you realise that injury has robbed their defence of Alphonso Davies and Dayot Upamecano, and goalkeeper Manuel Neuer is touch and go. Those are absences that could bring the house of cards down.

The league ranking teams by ‘quality of play’ 

Because it emerged last week, I had to quietly check that TAFC wasn’t about to get done by an April Fools’ Day joke. But no, the facts are legit: Major League Soccer’s development division, MLS Next, is doing away with matchday results.

Well, not exactly. Scorelines will be registered as before, but at under-13 and under-14 level, MLS Next’s bright idea is to base league standings on standards of performance rather than time-honoured win-draw-lose metrics. A UK analytics company, Taka, is behind the innovation, shifting the emphasis to tactics and technique.

You’ll have questions, as I do. How will this work? Can strands of data give an accurate frame of reference as opposed to subjective or meaningless rankings? Could the switch be framed as navel-gazing (and I ask that as somebody who sees the value of technical growth over scorelines at academy level)?

Pablo Maurer has filled in some of the blanks for us and I feel like the scheme will be worth tracking from here. There’s merit in giving bare results context, provided junior players blossom regardless. Let’s see if the new-fangled table passes the test of time.

And finally…

Win as a team, lose as a team, or so the saying goes, but stoic camaraderie is asking a lot of Real Valladolid. They’re bottom of Spain’s La Liga, with 16 points and a goal difference of minus 50. Pick the strands of encouragement out of that.

The strain boiled over on Sunday during a 4-0 hiding from Getafe, their 10th defeat in 11 matches. TV cameras caught two of Valladolid’s players, Luis Perez and Juanmi Latasa, going at each other on the bench while defender Eray Comert did his best to keep them apart.

Valladolid (owner: Ronaldo Nazario) have publicly scolded Perez and Latasa. Disciplinary action will follow “in defense of the club’s image”. And relief comes in the form of Atletico Madrid away next. Brace, brace!

(Top photo: Alex Pantling/Getty Images)

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